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University of Colorado at Boulder Center for the Study and Prevention of Violence:
Bullying Prevention Tips

MenWeb.org: 
Protecting Boys from Bullying

Socialization of School Age Children:  
Peer Acceptance and Rejection

Education World.com: 
Bullying Intervention Strategies That Work

Bullying in Public Schools
When You're Told There's Nothing They Can Do to Help Your Child

Everything appears to be going fine with your child at school.  His or her grades are looking pretty good so far this year, and there's enthusiasm about beginning each new school day.  You're feeling pretty optimistic about a great year for your child and then out of the blue ... the tone begins to change.  Stomach aches in the mornings, calls from school with complaints of headaches, stomach aches, and a variety of other ailments, all requiring they leave school immediately.  You watch as the illness begins to become a chronic situation and you schedule the doctor  appointments week after week because something has to be wrong. 

      Verifying your child's physical health with a pediatrician or family physician should always be your first step, however once you are able to determine that there is no real medical problem, turn your sites to what's happening to your child at school.   Many times children avoid coming to parents with difficulties at school for many reasons, ranging from fear of reprisals for something they perhaps have done wrong, to bullying issues, or difficulties with class work and even teachers.  If you suspect underlying issues affecting your child's willingness to attend school, then you'll find the challenge has just begun.

     Now what?  You have to encourage your child to let you help.  Consider sharing a story with them about situations you or one of your classmates encountered at school that involved bullying, or class work challenges and yes, even problems with teachers and how those many situations made you feel.  Let them know that you've shared some of those experiences and share with them what your outcome of those situations were. 

      One of the hardest things for parents to remember is how scary school can be.  Juggling an expected classroom performance with the unpredictable, and in today's world, the potentially dangerous student body is an overwhelming prospect.  What parents have to nurture is a unshakeable level of trust held by their children in the knowledge that regardless of whatever the problem may be, their parents will battle through the hard times with them standing toe to toe. 

     The parental challenge is to make absolutely sure you live up to that level of trust.  It's sometimes difficult for parents and students to accept the fact that when there's nothing ventured, there is usually nothing gained.  Bullies and difficulties with students can be overcome without your child ever having to face a confrontation, and academic challenges, regardless of it's nature,  can be overcome with significant collaborative effort from parents, students, and teachers.  The key is parental intervention, and the commitment to making sure that your child is allowed to tackle their academic challenges and socialization issues at school in the appropriate educational atmosphere. 

Holding Administrators Accountable

     Imagine what your life would be like if all you had to look forward to each day was torment from your co-workers or piers.  Imagine being shoved, laughed at, called names, hit, and your belongings are stolen from you or damaged while everyone chuckles in the background.  Imagine your self esteem and sense of self worth being whittled away to nothing while you know there is no other option available to you but to endure.  Imagine the dread each new day would bring if this description fit your daily existence.  This is a situation we would never tolerate as adults, however many of our children live through this very scenario every single day they attend school.

      The administrators of our schools tell us, "We'll do what we can but we can't watch them every hour of the day."  So you walk away feeling heartbroken,  believing that there is nothing you can do to protect your child.  This is a story that's told entirely too often time and time again within our public school systems nationwide.  

What Parents Can Do...

  Just as we would never tolerate this situation in our workplaces, we have to stand up and let our voices be heard for our children.  First and foremost we must look at the ramifications of bullying on our children.  Bob Chase, President of the National Education Association, in his speech in March of this year zeros in on the root of the problem.   "To eliminate bullying, first we must agree not to tolerate it ." Mr. Chase goes on to say, "Bullying exacts a terrible toll on children.  First their school work suffers, their physical and mental health suffers, and the scars can last a lifetime.  "

     Secondly, never be silent about your experience.  Bring the issue up at your local PTA meetings.  Your child is probably not the only child suffering at the hands of a bully.  Because we feel thwarted when we're seeking help, we tend to accept defeat.  Our children can't afford for us to forfeit the fight when their physical safety is at risk.  Furthermore it in unconscionable that any child should have to, or be expected to  endure this kind of torture.