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Student-Teacher Conflicts

     It is important to remember that your child's relationship with his or her teacher can influence their academic success.  Personality clashes can and do exist.  The important dynamics to consider are whether or not there is a real communicative difficulty between your child and his or her teacher, and how do you begin to intervene to resolve those difficulties. 

     As children learn and grow, expectations also grow.  This increasing demand for responsibility and accountability can be a difficult adjustment for some children.  A child's resentment of the increased demands and expectations can be misdirected toward the teachers giving the assignments.   Consequently, some children will see their new teacher as the villain responsible for their dissatisfaction. 

     On the other end of the spectrum, and quite unfortunately, some children will  actually find themselves in vulnerable and sometimes even unfair positions when real problems exist.  Sometimes teachers actually do have personality issues with their students.   Ridicule, favoritism, exclusion, and deliberately demeaning behaviors exhibited by teachers toward certain students can be a reality in some situations.   

     Parents also have to consider the ramifications of their intervention when their children are experiencing difficulties in the classroom.  Although children are vulnerable in this situation, silence is rarely golden when your child's academic success is at stake.  Parents have to begin looking at academic conflicts with the same points of reference that they attack professional conflicts. Proceed professionally and methodically, addressing the issues in a forthright manner, documenting your meetings, phone calls, concerns, and request.  Drastic responses or retaliatory behavior to voiced concerns need to be documented, and immediately involve administrative offices in all further communications.  The school and your child's teacher must understand that you are aware that they do not operate in a vacuum, and that there are ramifications for their mishandling of any given situation as well.

      As a parent, your determinations have to be based upon your ability to view the situation objectively, and candidly.  Whether or not the guilty party is the teacher or the student is really not the most important issue that has to be addressed by parents.  The critical aspect to consider is whether or not your child perceives that he or she is disliked.  Parents and educators must remind themselves what and who is the priority.  The child and his or her academic success. 

      It's hard for parents not to rush to judgment in favor of our children when we feel that they are being unfairly treated.  Try to be aware of your child's behavior in other situations where they are not getting their way.  There is no benefit in your child being successful in avoiding reasonable request and expectations in the classroom, but we must also be aware that as human beings, we all have likes and dislikes.  Thing's may not always be as they seem, ... and sometimes what glitters is gold.

When Conflicts Arise           

  Steps You Can Take to Help Your Child:

	Let your child's teacher know how the child views their relationship as teacher and student,  preferably in writing.
	Request a conference, take notes and insist your child be present.
	Ask for suggestions from your child and the teacher on how interactions and communications could be improved.
	Ask for a written plan for conflict resolution.
	Keep a watchful eye on your child's academic performance in relationship to reported incidences of conflicts.
	Watch your child for signs of depression and efforts to avoid the classroom.
	Let your child's teacher know that you view the potential damage of the conflicts as unacceptable, and threatening to the success of your child's academic performance.
	Advise your child's guidance counselor, and administrative offices that you suspect a problem and request their help and intervention. Ask for written documentation of your request.

For More Intervention Tips Click Here!

Bridges for Kids.org:

Articles of Interest : School Climate - Teacher's Dirty Looks

(excerpt)Less Dramatic Than Paddling, But Emotional Abuse Still Hurts

Teachers may not realize the long-lasting effects of intimidating their students. Some students remember the humiliation decades later.

by Claudine Chamberlain, ABC News